Have you ever wondered what your children will remember about their childhood? Not what they will remember from the big birthday party.
Not the expensive toy you bought them. Not even the family vacation you spent months planning. I mean the little things. The things that happen so often that you barely notice them anymore.
- The Saturday morning pancakes.
- The sound of little feet running through the house.
- The way they always crawl into your bed before you’re properly awake.
The family joke that makes absolutely no sense to anyone outside your home and every night, the bedtime story you’ve read so many times that you could probably say every word without looking at the book.
Those moments don’t always feel special while they are happening. But I have a feeling they might become some of the most special memories later.
Childhood is happening in the ordinary
I think as parents, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to give our children a “good childhood.”
We want to take them places, give them opportunities, celebrate their birthdays properly, make holidays special and give them things we didn’t have growing up.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But sometimes, in trying so hard to create beautiful memories for our children, we forget something. They are already making memories, right there in the middle of your ordinary Tuesday.
While you’re rushing to get everyone dressed for school and reminding them for the fifth time to put their shoes on.
While you’re making dinner and someone is standing beside you asking approximately 47 questions.
These moments might feel small, but childhood is made up of small moments and one day, those ordinary moments will be gone.
Your children should remember how home ‘felt’
When children grow up, they don’t remember every detail of their childhood. They may not remember what they got for their sixth birthday.
They may not remember the exact restaurant you went to on that family trip. But they will remember how home felt.
- How Dad had the funniest jokes.
- How Mum always made pancakes on Saturday.
- How they could run into your room when they had a bad dream.
And honestly, I think that is what matters most. Childhood isn’t really about having a perfect life, it’s about having a place where you feel safe enough to be yourself.
Let them be children
If you have children, you already know how much energy they have.
They run, jump, ask questions, make noise, change their minds, make messes and tell the same story over and over again.
And sometimes…it can be exhausting. 😂There are days when you just want them to sit down without touching anything for 5 minutes.
And of course, children need boundaries.
They need to learn how to listen, how to behave, how to respect other people and how to understand that the world cannot always revolve around them.
But they also need room to simply be children.
Because the things that make childhood exhausting are often the same things that make childhood beautiful.
That endless curiosity, energy and imagination. That ability to turn a cardboard box into a spaceship. These are spices that make for a memorable childhood.
So let they them dance, play and ask the silly question. Let them be little because they won’t be little forever.
And then there are the siblings
If you have more than one child, you probably know exactly what I mean.
- “That’s mine!”
- “Mummy, tell him!”
- “She started it!”
- “He touched my stuff!”
- “Stop copying me!”
And somehow, five minutes later, they are sitting beside each other and laughing like nothing happened.
Siblings are funny like that. They can annoy each other more than anyone else in the world, but they can also become each other’s safest place.
So yes, you may need to step in when the argument gets a little too serious. But sometimes, it’s also worth stepping back and noticing the relationship underneath it all.
Because they won’t always be this age and eventually, they won’t always be able to walk into the next room and find each other.
Slow down when you can
I know life is busy. There are school runs, work, appointments, homework.
Plus making dinner, laundry, bills. Everything. You cannot freeze time no matter how hard you try
You don’t need to become the parent who turns every Tuesday into a Pinterest-worthy memory.
You just need to notice sometimes: the way they pronounce certain words, how your children laugh together, how their face changes when they talk about something they love.
Notice them.
Because one day, these things will change and they do change very fast. The shoes will get bigger, clothes will stop fitting, they will become more independent.
And one day, you will realise that the little person who once needed you for everything doesn’t need you quite as much anymore.
This is why memories matter
I’ve spent years photographing families, and one thing I have learned is that children change incredibly quickly.
You see a family one year and when they come back again; the baby is walking now, the little boy who used to hide behind Mum is suddenly talking to everyone.
The little girl who needed to be carried now wants to do everything herself. And every time, I am reminded of the same thing.
Time really does move. But a photograph cannot stop time. It can give you somewhere to return to.
That’s one of the reasons I believe photographs are so valuable, because sometimes, we need something that helps us remember…
Remember how small they were, the way they smiled and how everyone looked together at that particular stage of life.
Remember a version of your family that only existed for a little while. Years later, it is worth more than you realise.
So, what will your children remember?
Maybe they will remember the big things. Maybe they won’t. But I hope they remember the little things too.
I hope they remember the sound of everyone laughing in the kitchen. Most of all, I hope they remember how it felt to be loved by you.
Because maybe that is what makes a family. A family is made of the little things that show up every day. Your children may not fully understand now, but may carry with them for the rest of their lives.
So today, don’t worry too much about creating the perfect memory. Just be there. And when you get the chance, take the picture too.
Because one day, you may look back at these ordinary days and realise…those were the days.
